Yesterday I was sitting at my house, and out of no where I got extremely depressed. To a point that I didn't even feel like I was living. And I know that sounds dumb but I just felt like I was going through the motions. So I went on the computer and I was looking through some postcards from post secrets, because I have a sick and twisted addiction to them, and then I stumbled upon one that really got to me. I know this kid, his names Frank, I've talked about him in the post before, and he's a Marine. He's home now and he leaves to go back to base February 23 and then go to Afghanistan. The postcard said "I signed up to go to Afghanistan because I know I won't make it back. I don't know how to tell my mom." Immediately after reading it I broke down. It finally hit me that he's really leaving, and that I might not ever see him again. The more I think about it, and the more I talk to him..the more I fall in love with him. He's the complete opposite of me. Strong willed, confident. And yet we're so much the same. Quirky, sarcastic. There's to many to even name. He brings out the best in me and I'd be lost if he were gone. It all started off because we messed around and that's all that it was supposed to be. But now, I feel more and more attached to him everyday. Every night I'll pray for his safe return home.
He always tells me he'll come home, it just might be in a box or two. Always in a joking tone too, never serious. Until last night when I told him about the postcard and he then realized why I am the way I am. I'm so afraid to lose him. After we got off the phone and texted me "If I die, will you still remember me?" After this, again, I broke down. I'm in love with you Frank. You make me unbelievably happy. I'm just afraid that if you leave, you won't come home. And then we'll never have the chance to fall in love.
I just hope my boyfriend doesn't find out about Frank. The same goes for Frank about my boyfriend.
